9 September 1998
Source: A Cypherpunks Archive: http://www.inet-one.com/cypherpunks/

See related file: http://jya.com/usa-v-cej-wc.htm

# Quaint Customs Warning - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!

- To: cypherpunks@toad.com
- Subject: Quaint Customs Warning - SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!
- From: Linda Reed--PCC West Campus CSC <lreed@west.cscwc.pima.edu>
- Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 08:08:53 MST
- Sender: owner-cypherpunks@Algebra.COM

    Canadian Customs Warning - SPACE ALIENS HIDE M DRUGS!!!
    ________________________________________________________

      Although the Reptilian Nazis making preparations in the lavoratories
    of their SecretUnderGroundBunkers pose an eventual threat to the safety
    and security of humanity itself, there are many more immediate dangers
    present in our lives which can bring serious consequences to anyone who
    remains unaware of them.
      Thus, I feel that it is important for everyday, average citizens to
    issue travel warnings for those who may be thinking in venturing into
    some of the more corrupt areas of the world, such as Canada, where they
    may find themselved subject to arbitrary and capricious actions by the
    heavy-handed Canadian Customs BorderGuards before even being allowed to
    enter the country, after which they will be subject to whatever illegal
    acts and measures that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police choose to
    perpetrate upon them.

      It is particularly important to be wary of entering through certain
    Customs ports, such as Regway, Saskatchewan, which have a long history
    of abuse of authority and criminal malefeasance.
      Bill Mitchell, a Canadian Customs OffalSlur at the Regway port, has
    been known to steal thousands of dollars worth of goods from those passing
    through while he is on duty, while being extremely evasive when asked
    about the legality of his conduct, as well as being very inept at hiding
    the fact that he is a lying, scumbag piece of shit who is not intelligent
    enough to tell even halfway believable lies.

      Although I normally advise people to make what effort they can to get
    whatever measure of Justice they can through normal legal channels, in
    the case of countries such as Canada, where even high-ranking political
    figures are known to be corrupt, where many of the Judges have histories
    of corruption, substance abuse and complicity in the illegal activities
    of law enforcement officials, I certainly could not find fault with
    anyone who surveyed the situation they found themselves in and decided
    that their best option was to used armed force to prevent becoming a
    victim of the oppressive, unethical and illegal actions of armed bandits
    working under the cover of Canadian Government Authority.
      As well, although one might morally and ethically be perfectly justified
    in putting a bullet through the brain of armed Canadian Government Bandits
    who have been trained to deal violently with any person who resists their
    attempts at enforcing their alleged authority, even when doing so in an
    unethical and illegal manner, it would be unwise for them to act hastily,
    since one must be prepared to follow through in regard to such an action,
    by also eliminating any other government agents who may be present and
    would constitute an immediate or future threat to the individual who
    refuses to be subjected to illegal and unethical government actions.

      Although I suppose that one might make a case for being 'better safe
    than sorry' when entering Canada through a port such as Regway, and just
    going ahead and whacking out the whole lot of them, so that they don't
    have a chance to get the jump on you, before proceeding into the country,
    I personally think that if one has prepared in advance for dealing with
    the danger that the Regway Customs OffalSlurs represent, then this option
    should not be necessary.
      Of course, I realize that I, myself, am a rather conservative person,
    so I would certainly not pass judgement on those who are more of a
    'take the BullShit by the horns' type of individual.

      Being, as I say, rather conservative by nature, I don't usually feel
    it necessary to immediately put to death violent armed Canadian Government
    Thugs for their crimes against myself or other citizens, even though doing
    so might well help to prevent future criminal abuses by violent, armed
    people in positions of authority, since there area variety of other routes
    that one might take in extracting a measure of Justice or EqualizationOf
    TheAnalSexualBalanceOfTheTao.

      As always, anyone who chooses to attempt to receive redress for the
    crimes committed against them by those in authoritative government
    positions will be fighting a battle in which the Canadian Justice System
    is stacked against them. Even though Judge Lee, a notorious drunkard who
    has performed GodOnlyKnows how many travesties of justice while rendering
    legal judgements while totally ShitFaced, has retired, many of the other
    Canadian judges, while perhaps not being as totally out-of-control, are
    nonetheless known to rubber-stamp pretty much every instance of criminal]
    abuse perpetrated on the citizenry, as a matter of course.
      Likewise, the Saskatchewan Justice Department is well-known by the
    citizens to be a FuckingJoke (TM), and that any person who dares to
    file a complaint against members of the Canadian Legal Community can
    expect to be subjected to ridicule and abuse by Justice Department
    Investigators, as well as perhaps finding themselves the target of
    further persecution by those being WhiteWashed by their Justice Department
    BumBuddies.

      Realizing that any citizen who shot and killed an armed intruder in his
    home who was attempting to rob HimOrHer of thousands of dollars worth of
    personal propery would likely be regarded as a hero, while a citizen who
    shot and killed an ArmedCanadianGovernmentThug who was doing the same,
    would be the immediate subject of villification by all arms of Canadian
    Opinon/Reality Creating Agencies, my own preference is to set a goal of
    returning (1,000)Tit-for-(1)Tat.
      Being, as I say, a pretty conservative fellow, I have refrained, for
    the most part, over the years, from extracting a large measure of revenge
    or retribution for the unethical and illegal TravestiesOfJustice that I
    have been subjected to by various CanadianAuthorities. Having gone to
    great lengths to act with reason and civility in the face of oppression
    and persecution for quite some length of time, and at considerable
    personal expense to both my finances and my psyche, I can see no reason
    to have any qualms of conscience in regard to henceforth requiring
    AThousandEyesForAnEye (TM) as a BalanceOfPayments for acts of thievery
    and illegality against my person by ArmedCanadianGovernmentThugs.

      Naturally, if anyone feels that they can offer good, solid advice in
    regard to why it might be more ethical or justified for me to just keep
    on TakingItInTheAssTimeAndTimeAgain without complaint or retribution,
    then I would be more than happy to forward them some advice I received
    from S.M. Halloran, who works as a Biochemical Researcher at a Spooky
    Drug Laboratory in AssassAnkara, Turkey:
        _________________________________________________________________
         * To: cypherpunks@Algebra.COM
         * From: "S. M. Halloran" <mitch@duzen.com.tr>
         * Organization: User RFC 822- and 1123-compliant
         _________________________________________________________________

    ou are a lunatic.  No question about it.

    Can you possibly make an appointment with your doctor and make sure your
    lithium dose is not greater than it ought to be?
    Mitch Halloran
    Research (Bio)chemist
    Duzen Laboratories Group
    AssassAnkara   TURKE mitch@duzen.com.tr
        _________________________________________________________________

      I have been following, with great mirth, a current thread on the CPUNX
    list which expresses great concern over the possible implications to the
    issues of freedom and privacy by the plans of the Russian Government
    and/or Military implimenting a StateOfTheArt Monitoring/Surveillance
    System designed to make BigWolfInBigGrandmothersClothing's ears very,
    very large indeed.
    [WAS: "The better to hear EveryOneAndEveryThing with."]

      I find it interesting that there should be such great concern over the
    possibility of EvilThings happening in Russia that are already happening
    in AmeriKaKa, when few Citizens or NetIzens in this country seem to be
    inclined to actually *do* anything in regard to making an effort to hold
    accountable those involved in the unethical and criminal persecution of
    our own DigitalPrisonersOfWar behind Amerika's ElectroMagnetic Curtain.
      What reason is their to be 'concerned' about matters that one is going
    to submissively submit to like a LemmingLamb waiting to rush over the
    cliff and into the BigMouthBigTeeth of BigBrother?

      James Dalton Bell got RailRoaded, ScrewedBluedAndTattoo'd, SetUp, Fucked
    Over, and SoldDownTheFuckingRiver for the diabolical crime of openly
    discussing the same types of concepts and issues that our Founding Fathers
    wrote about (although they were taking their medication regularly and had
    the good sense to publish much of their work via anonymous reprinters).

      ALunaticWhoLooksALotLikeMe got HisorHer computers, and those of family
    members, confiscated, HisOrHer Sympatico WebSite deleted, and subjected
    to the threat of years of imprisonment, as a result of putting up an
    'RCMP HATE PAGE' parody dedicated the belief that making fun of Dudley
    DoRight's abuse, persecution and murder of human beings of Native American
    ancestry was less of a crime than the actual performance of those types
    of criminal misdeeds.

      Unless one is prepared to actually take action to prevent the abuse of
    authority, and to hold those responsible for high-handed, unethical and
    illegal actions against the Citizens, then the process of 'discussion'
    on these issues is mere Philosophical Masturbation.

    The rEvolution is NOW!
    All that really needs to be said, is "BOOM!"

    NEWS FLASH!!!
    If, after someone ButtFucks you, you give them a really great BlowJob,
    they don't have a whole lot of incentive not to do it again.
    If the CriminalFuckers are incapable of understanding that "NO Means NO"
    then perhaps they are capable of understanding that "BOOM Means NO."

      The willingness of WeTheSheeple to submissivly submit to the atrocious
    lies, abuses, criminal and unethical behavior of the Rulers&Contollers
    can be explained, to my mind, by nothing other than BrainWashing.
      The Truth (TM) of the matter is, the ThugsAndThieves who are in control
    of this and other countries, are, for the most part, GutLessCowards who
    are capable of maintaining their intrusive and excessive hold over the
    lives of the citizenry only by virtue of OrganizedMobRuleOfForce over
    a ComplacentCitizenry.
      Upon losing the support system of OfficiallyAuthorizedOrganizedCrime,
    most of these GutLessCowards fold like a BustedFlush. On the extremely
    rare occassions where the GutLessCowards are called to account for their
    criminal behavior and abuse of power, They turn in mass fear on one
    another, until they have spilled enough of each other's blood, and hacked
    off enough internal heads, that the citizens are appeased.

      et the MindsOfTheMasses have become so controlled by the PuppetMasters
    that, after brief displays of sanity and integrity, they again accept the
    dichotomic exhortations of the LeftOverLiars&Thieves that everything is
    now "Different/BackToNormal."

      "We stopped destroying the minds of unwitting victims of our criminal
    mind-control experiments esterDay (TM). The IRS is going to cease
    engaging in high-handed, unethical abuse of the citizens Tomorrow (TM)."

    The Reason The Government Is Incapable of Dealing With The Present:
    "The rEvolution is NOW!"

      "The President you elected has been murdered, but you will not be
    allowed to know why, or by whom. That is TopSecret information that
    can only be accessed by those who may have been involved in his murder."

      "We don't have the time or resources to bring to Justice all of the
    important and politically connected people who became grotesquely rich
    while illegally draining BillionsOfDollars from the Savings and Loan
    system, but we *do* have the time and resources to imprison millions
    of DarkSkinnedAmericans (and a few LightSkinnedAmericans) for willingly
    ingesting pharmecutical substances which our own agents illegally put
    into the bodies of *unwilling* people, without a single one of them
    being subject to criminal proceedings, even when their actions caused
    the death of their unwitting victims."

      "es, we Fucked Jim Bell Silly! So the fuck what?
      "We got away with it, didn't we? So you can bet your sweet ass that
    we're going to do it again, and again, at any time we please, and to
    whoever we please.
      "If you DumbSchmucks want to sit by placidly while we pick you off
    OneAtATime, then it doesn't really matter that we're GutLessCowardlyFucks,
    does it?"