9 September 1998
Source: A Cypherpunks Archive: http://www.inet-one.com/cypherpunks/

See related file: http://jya.com/usa-v-cej-wc.htm

# Breaking News!

- To: cypherpunks@cyberpass.net
- Subject: Breaking News!
- From: Anonymous Remailer <nobody@walledcity.ml.org>
- Date: Mon, 8 Jun 1998 18:35:04 GMT
- Comments: This message did not originate from the Sender address above.It was remailed automatically by anonymizing remailer software.Please report problems or inappropriate use to theremailer administrator at <remailer-admin@walledcity.ml.org>.
- Sender: owner-cypherpunks@Algebra.COM

    [Bienfait Nutly News-Sidney, Montana]A BIENFAIT CYPHERPUNKS
    Distributed meeting took place early this morning via an
    BlackBox hookup between the South 40, in Sidney, and the
    CoalDust Saloon, in Bienfait.
    The main issue of discussion was as to whether anyone was
    sober enough to remember where the MadBomber In Possession
    Of The Last False Smile had actually placed the bomb before
    embarking on a middle-leg of the TruthMonger SoftTarget Tour
    of Planet Terra.

    Estevan City Police, hearing rumors of the Virtual Attack
    on the Saskatchewan Justice System via the MeatSpace tools
    commonly available to those who own no firearms and don't
    need no stinking badges, chose to delay a search for the
    bomb, in order to plan what type of news spin should be
    put on the event in order to maximize the justification
    for an increased local police budget to combat international
    terrorism, child pornography, drug-dealing and A HorseMan
    To Be Named Later.
    RCMP, extremely nervous about the Author's claim that HeOrShe
    is in possession of audio tapes documenting illegal entries
    into HisOrHer Bienfait home, as well as computer disks which
    contained confidential email between RCMP factions which
    discussed government liability if their plan to drive a known
    madman crazy enough to finally put him away turned bad, and
    resulted in a backlash of death and destruction, consulted
    the Oklahoma agents of the BATF and were reassured that
    the Waco and OKC tragedies had more than proved the ability
    of govenment to direct the public's attention in any direction
    that Official Authority (TM) chose to point their middle finger.

    A MadBomber In Possession Of The Last False Smile To Be
    Named Later Even Though It's Not Really Necessary, when
    contacted by this ReportWhore, said, "I forgot to light the
    fucking fuse? Really? Jesus, am I stupid!"
    Tim C. May, though denying his active role in the event, said
    nevertheless, "I told the Canadian CypherPunks that the guy was
    a fucking idiot and that they needed to pin a note on his
    jacket saying, 'Light the fuse!' before sending him or her
    off on a mission that I had no prior knowledge of."
    Adam Back, denying that he was involved up to his eyebrows
    and had supplied the Scotch used to shore up the MadBombers
    courage, while destroying enough of his brain cells to
    prevent him or her from success in the mission, was reported
    to have named Defcon ChainSaw McCullagh as the instigator of
    the event, which was reportedly financed by the Netly News
    in an effort to eliminate the stiff competition they were
    receiving from the Canadian Parody Press Faction of the
    Electronic Forgery Foundation commonly known to both of its
    readers as the Bienfait Nutly News.

    Ulf Moller and Peter Trei, two terroist InterNet forgers
    operating under the cover of being boring mathematicians,
    used each other as alibis, claiming to have been working
    on proving the validity of the need for legislation
    declaring the value of Pi to be 3.0.
    Kent Crispin and Blanc Weber denied involvement, claiming
    to have been meeting with their government handlers as
    part of their undercover activities in the DOJ/Micro$not
    Aunti TrustMonger Investigation.
    Weber stated flatly, "I finally got that asshole to quit
    mentioning my name in HisOrHer Death Threats!!! to my
    former employer and secret lover, BadBillyG, and now HeOrShe
    pulls this crap! I'm putting my panties back on..."

    The Canadian CypherPunks, attempting to convince the barmaids
    at both the South 40 and the CoalDust Saloon that several
    rounds of free drinks would undoubtedly jar their memories
    as to where, exactly, the bomb was, were heard to plead,
    "If it saves the life of a single child..."

    ~Defcon McCullagh Chainsaw]